Breathe In, Breathe Out

So we know what trauma is from this post, and what the symptoms of PTSD can be from this post. But how do we manage them? With my two most commonly used words: Coping Skills. Coping skills can be used for grounding, calming and even simply distracting. Everyone will respond a little differently to different skills, so you have to play around with them and find what works best for you. For the sake of this post, I will list some of my more commonly suggested skills for you to try and why they work. If you want more options, contact me and I can give you more ideas.

1.) Deep/Belly Breathing. 

This is probably the most basic, yet most helpful tools you can have in your tool box. This kind of breathing is very intentional.

How to do it: Best practice is to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Now, most of us, when we breathe normally, can see or feel our chest rising and falling. When you intentionally deep breathe, concentrate on breathing with your diaphragm instead of your chest. In the beginning, it might help to lay down on your back and rest one hand on your belly so you can feel it rise and fall. Image there is a balloon in your stomach and as you breathe in, you fill it up as much as you can and as you breathe out, you slowly let the air out and use your stomach muscles to push out every last ounce of air.  Make sure you practice pacing yourself; try counting to 4 on the in breath, hold for 4 and breathe out for 6 counts. You can play with the length of time, but be sure you aren't breathing too fast, that will have the opposite effect of calming. This kind of breathing might take some practice but keep at it and you'll get the hang of it!

How it helps: There is a nerve right behind your stomach called the Vagus Nerve.  This nerve is considered the link between the mind-body connection. By naturally stimulating it with diaphragmatic breaths, it activates the parasympathetic nervous system (the one that calms your body). It will slow your mind, your heart rate and blood pressure.  As someone is experiencing anxiety, every part of the body can be agitated and needs to be reminded to slow down a little. Belly breathing may not make the feelings or anxiety go away entirely, but it helps to take the edge off enough to make it manageable.

2.) Grounding/Mindfulness

There are a plethora of ways to practice mindfulness, so I'm going to stick to two of my favorites. If you are new to the practice of mindfulness, I'll give you a quick run down. Mindfulness is the practice of staying fully aware in the present moment without judgment. This includes awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations and environment. If you are interested in learning more in depth, you can check out this website. There are also plenty of mindfulness/meditation apps that you can download to your phone. I haven't found one that I have loved, so I won't make a specific recommendation. Find what works for you and get going on it!

The first exercise I teach my clients is a full body scan.

How to do it: Begin by getting to a quiet place where you can get comfortable, whether it's laying down, or sitting comfortably in a chair. Just take a minute to relax and get used to the environment. Take a few deep belly breaths to begin with and try to focus on just your breathing. Once you get back to your normal breathing, just stay there for a moment and be very conscious of your breath going in and out. Notice the sounds in the room, any smells or other sensations. When you're ready, begin by bringing your attention to your toes and feet; notice any pressure or pain, notice where they rest on the floor. Maybe take a moment to tense the muscles in your feet and release. When you're ready, go ahead and move up to your ankles...then calves and shins...then knees....then thighs...etc etc.

You can make this body scan as simple or complex as you want and as time permits. If you have a lot of time and need it to take longer, you can work through smaller groups of muscles at a time. If you are in a hurry, you can make the groups as large as you like. Make it work for YOU individually. If you have a hard time leading yourself through this, you can always turn to youtube for a helpful video.

The second exercise is a little more conducive to a work or school environment when you need a quick skill to calm down and you can't be alone. I call it 5,4,3,2,1.

How to do it: Wherever you happen to be in the moment that you need some calming, look around you and find:

5 things you can see
4 things you can hear
3 things you can touch
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste.

This can be repeated as many times as you need to bring your anxiety down.

How these help: Both exercises are specifically designed to bring your attention back to the present moment, where you are safe. Bringing awareness to your body and/or your environment will help bring that heart rate down and settle your mind. Part of what it does is distract you from whatever past or future scenario you have in your head that's causing the anxiety. Any time you can bring your consciousness back to the present moment, you will find some calm and peace. Anxiety is always rooted in a past event or a future worry.

But here is the key to all mindfulness practice! It has to be done non-judgmentally. This means that when a thought or worry comes to your mind, you acknowledge it, DO NOT make a decision on if it's good or bad, and let it move on, as if it were a cloud in the sky, or a leaf floating down a stream. Let it go. In this moment of mindful practice, it does not matter. Your goal is to find the peace that is stored inside you. It's there, believe me. It may feel far away, but it's there. With some practice and effort, you'll find it inside you and you'll find some relief from the pain, confusion, shame, chaos or fear you may be feeling.

Let's get practicing!!