Vicarious Trauma

My first experience with vicarious trauma that I can recall, was September 11, 2001. I was in 4th grade and lived no where near New York City. There was a lot of trauma happening in the city, but there was also trauma all over the country. I remember as a 9 year old, watching the news and seeing the clips play over and over of the billowing clouds of smoke, the towers falling down on themselves, and the particularly horrifying clips of people jumping from the buildings. I remember feeling terrified and worried that something similar would happen where I lived. My sweet mother reassured me that we lived in a fairly insignificant part of America that would be very unlikely to be targeted, which helped ease my worry. However, anytime the news was on about the happenings in the city, I had to leave the room because it was too much for me to handle. I eventually was able to move past the intense and distressing feelings that resulted from that terrorist attack. I was more fortunate than others who dealt with, and probably still deal with, worse experiences from that day.

Also known as secondary trauma, vicarious trauma happens when we accumulate and carry the stories of trauma—including images, sounds, and resonant details—we have heard, which then come to inform our worldview.* And yes, it still qualifies as trauma, because remember, trauma is any distressing experience that alters your perspective of the world. 

Since 9/11, I have experienced other forms of vicarious trauma; hearing about my friends’ sexual assaults, reading a heart-wrenching news story of child abuse, and listening to the accounts of sexual abuse from my clients at work. With each experience of vicarious trauma, I had to take some time to process and reset my mind. Each event brought up difficult emotions, some easier to handle than others. And each one in their own way, brought up a distorted thought or perception about the world: “men can’t be trusted,” “the world is a terrible place,” or “there is no good left in the world.” Each thought brought panic and feelings of despair. I had to process through each experience and remind myself that one instance does not represent the human kind in its entirety. I reminded myself that there are still good people and good things in the world, I just had to keep looking for the good.

The point I’m trying to make is that each of us are likely to experience vicarious trauma. Whether you are a mental health counselor, teacher, parent, siblings or friend. You may have someone in your life share a traumatic experience with you, or you may read something disturbing in the news. The feelings that come from that are common, and you are not alone. You may experience feelings of fear, anger, sadness, anxiety, despair or panic. Be gentle with yourself and practice self-compassion, the way you would for a best friend. Allow yourself time to process and take care of yourself. If you are a mental health counselor, make sure you are engaging in self-care and setting healthy emotional boundaries. If you have a friend who is need of your help, make sure to take time for yourself and ask for help when you need it. Seek professional help if you find that your feelings are making it difficult to function like you normally do. 

I think we all have an innate sense to want to help and nurture others in difficult times, but be sure to take care of yourself first, so you have your whole self to give.  

*Definition found here